If you remembered to set your clocks back an hour before you went to bed last night, you probably got out of bed rather early this morning. Which makes this your lucky day. Well, actually you could have slept in to witness this particular magic moment in time.

At precisely 71 seconds after 9 a.m., your clock should show 09:01:11. Now look at your calendar. It's 11-01-09. Is that spooky or what?

Well, OK, it's not that eerie. Certainly not as eerie as what was taking place in The Mall for the past few nights. If you didn't make it to the Carnival of Chaos in the old Midwest Drug space, you likely didn't get very scared this Halloween season.

The C of C -- which is the Carnival of Chaos, not the Chamber of Commerce -- was put on by the CYO -- which is the Catholic Youth Organization, not the Coalition of Young Opthamologists. These youngsters from Immaculate Heart of Mary parish put on an annual haunted house. It used to take place in the armory building downtown but with space available on Vine Street, they fled the Chestnut Street District. Hey, if Downtown Hays Development Corp. and the C of C -- the Chamber, not the Carnival -- can do it, why not the CYO?

Either way, it was worth a visit. So we went through the maze Thursday night. It was dark. So dark you split your time bumping into dead-ends or other people. Sometimes both.

Something very strange happened before we emerged from the chaos. We met a girl in one of the darkened hallways who had been separated from her mother. She appeared frightened and asked if she could walk with us. No problem, we said. And Lexi was with us until the next bright flash of light, loud howls and screams and all sorts of black-clad youths running around like screamy meamies. Suddenly, she was gone.

If she was reunited with Mom, great. But if anybody still is missing Lexi Pfannenstiel, she's probably lost in the funhouse at The Mall with nothing but Halloween candy to survive on.

* * *

Whether you arose early or late today, it's All Saints Day nonetheless. Halloween, or All Hallows Eve, naturally precedes All Saints Day.

How do you celebrate the occasion? Some light candles. Others visit cemeteries. And there's a large percentage of the population who do not mark the occasion at all.

Me? I take the liberty of deciding which of the saints I choose to honor. Well, I still honor them all, but I honor a duo of saints a little more than the others. The two in question? St. Patrick and St. Nicholas. Duh!

Going this route gives me rationalization to drink beer or eggnog, eat corned beef or boiled ham, dress up as a leprechaun or an elf. Most people who visit the house on this particular day usually don't stay long, however. I'm guessing they're just not very appreciative of others' customs.

* * *

Long before I went to bed last night, hours before I took on the chore of changing all the clocks in the house, there were a number of visitors knocking on my door. As is customary on Halloween, there is a steady stream of costumed kids practicing their own seasonal custom.

Trick or treat!

While I'd rather give all tricks, the better half insists on offering treats. So most of the magicians, witches, evil Hannah Montanas, elephants, mimes, cupcakes and Beatles fans who stopped by received American Dental Association-approved goodies. Florets of broccoli and cauliflower, saltine crackers, string cheese and raisins were all that was doled out on our porch. I'll let you in a little secret. If you want to decrease the number of kids showing up, give them something other than candy. They'll remember. And they'll walk right past your house next year. Boo!

* * *

On All Hallows Eve Eve, which would have been Friday for those of you scoring at home, we witnessed a murder. Kind of. You don't think craziness happens here in Hays? You should have been at the Hays Arts Council's murder mystery event. Some of the world's greatest detectives were there: Lt. Columbo, Sherlock Holmes, Charlie Chan, Charlie's Angels. None were as smart, it turned out, as the audience itself who saw through Brenda Meder's disguise. Well, it's not like they were wearing X-ray glasses or anything like that. I guess they saw through her facade. No, that can't be it either since a facade is an artificial front. And there's nothing false about Madame Redem.

Let's just say the butler didn't do it.

* * *

Lexi, are you home yet?

Patrick Lowry is editor and publisher of The Hays Daily News.

plowry@dailynews.net